oh boy. it now appears that we live in a world where people have such an overwhelming desire to be accepted for the way they are that they think it means that they are entitled to have people find them attractive. here’s a newsflash: some people are attractive. some people are ugly. some are in between. it’s not fair, but remind me again of when life suddenly decided to be fair?
i was born with a gypsy soul and a heart steeped in wanderlust. home is nice and all, but i need constant change in scenery.
definitely love sharing good music. one of life’s little joys for me.
NYC or rural areas this weekend?
i need a purely photography getaway good thing i have a few more days to mull over this.
Reflection and Insight from Meditation
Why do I become emotionally vacant and drop them completely for periods of time? I don’t know when this originally started, but I have found that it is because I tire of them. They become extra baggage during times of duress. Why deal with extra weight when you can shed it altogether? Yes, I am a very passionate person, especially with my interests and my emotions. There are times when applied outside pressure allows me to channel this passion-charged emotion into productivity, but that is dangerous at best, because emotions are so unpredictable. When they swing one way or the other, there is no middle ground.
Chalk it up to my impulsive nature as one explanation or maybe even my hyper-tuned sensory perceptions and emotions as another (the latter of which is what I tend to attribute myself with). Hell, it is probably a fusion of the two that best explain it. What really matters is that I know that I am that way, and that I will be flung headlong into the wind with that emotion should I let myself feel it completely. It is best for me, at times, for me to drop it altogether to prevent the risk of emotional self destruction. However, even with this veil of control I appear to have over them, I don’t always control this lack of feeling. Sometimes it occurs at random.
Through my experiences so far in my fleeting existence on this planet I have seen that emotions, all of them, are the fire of life. There’s a thing about fire though that I recognize and respect: when fire does not want to be controlled, it will not be. Emotions are the same way for me, and I will head off any that I foresee causing me problems with what I would like to do with myself and my life.
This is by no means the end of my meditations on this area of my life. Instead, it is merely a mile marker at this stage of thought so I can tell where I have been, guiding me and showing my progression (or possible regression). I am still very far away from any true answers or explanations for my internal flaws and failings, let alone knowledge for how to solve them. Until next time.